Think of all the different roles you play in your life – at work, at home, with family and friends. Your roles may be, for example, as a partner, parent, employee, employer, mentor or leader. And as a result of these roles, you can identify the people you feel responsible for and may even feel responsible for what you are advocating.
Imagine carrying a bucket of water on your head as you would in Africa if you have come a long way back to your village. The bucket can only absorb so much water. So, once again, imagine that every role we play and how much we fight for the people we feel responsible for add more water to the bucket.
If you carry too much water, the bucket overflows and you lose the ability to stand up confidently, right?
This is exactly the risk we play every day in life and at work. The heavy burden of responsibility can burden us or cause us to lose track of what is really important in our private and working lives. After all, we can burn out, get frustrated, or give up altogether. You will recognize this best when you feel exhausted, as if you just want to throw everything in, because everything is too hard. (Sounds familiar?)
Maybe you have not received this promotion or another parent has been asking you about your child’s “bad behavior”. Whatever it is, you do not have to sit on your hands and wish you could disappear on the couch.
With a little practice, you can learn to boost your self-confidence no matter what life throws at you.
- Set limits:
It is important that you learn to speak for yourself and others when appropriate. This can mean being visible and making unpopular decisions. Learn to reshape the conflict potential as a healthy debate.
You do not have to be the Dalai Lama, but you must stand up for what you consider right, fair, and important. And that can often mean just saying “no” when someone else puts pressure on you.
- Challenge yourself:
You will often have to do things differently tomorrow than today. You need to get out of your comfort zone – and be sure enough to do so. If you always do what you have always done, how can you expect to learn and grow?
Challenge the stories that you tell yourself so that you do not carry too much water around for others and are not prepared for success. How can you gauge what you need to do to make a positive change in your work or life if you head down all day and have your butt up and paint your to-do list? Challenge yourself further and ask, “If I come through something here, then I will not go there, what do I have to do now to increase myself?”
- Believe in yourself : To be truly confident over a longer period of time is something that has to be built from the inside out. “Fake it until you make it” will only take you so far and for so long. It can be exhausting to pretend that you have the confidence to do your job.
The ability to perform with true self-confidence means that you know yourself, you can be yourself and act as the best version of yourself. Identify what you are great at, and believe that you are valuable and appreciated because it is true.
